Its just us

Its just us

(by Pakk Camacho)

CHAPTER I: CROSSING TRAILS

Beautiful, isn’t it? Love, truth, and You. 

Three simple elements I can not live without. The most amazing love I’ve known.

“Today, I found myself walking on thin air

the memories of you and me were leaving far away

and when the rain came dancing, knocking on your door

did you call my name or not? I don’t know

somewhere along the way I lost my mind

may you walk along with me? I don’t mind

somewhere along the road I emptied out

the bag of heavy souls I carried out

there’s little time to talk of purposes and lies

tomorrow when the sun goes down one will stay behind

grab your stuff forget the past and hold your head up high

just hold my hand I will pretend and I won’t look into your eyes

somewhere along the way I lost my mind

may you walk along with me? I don’t mind

somewhere along the road I emptied out

the bag of heavy souls I carried out.”

Guy- He wore your shirt yesterday. So why did you say he didn’t want it?

Girl- Haha lies. I know he didn’t. That’s alright though, plaid is the best I would wear     it everyday if I could, and I would make every guy wear it everyday too. And hmm well, I just don’t see why he would even tell me something like that you know like if I was going to give a present away I would never actually say it. I was just like ugh. But whatever I’m over it he can do what he wants with that shirt.

Guy- He actually did wear it, but it does suck he told you that. Anyhow, are you coming to the show tonight? You should. It’s gonna be good.

Girl- yeah well, whatever. But yes I think im going tonight I’m going to try hard, ill be at girl2 house tonight and she lives like less than five minutes from there by foot. Oh wait, you went to her house well it’s really close to there so maybe we’ll stop by.

Guy Flashback* 

“As I get close to her place I feel this gut feeling that which I haven’t felt in a 

long time. It’s a sinking feeling that goes down deep and touches your heart. 

It is a good feeling, mostly, but sometimes I don’t know what to think. 

This feeling has come to me as well in the hardest moments of my life.

When a loved one leaves us, when you loose a job, when you get caught. 

Whatever the case, today this sinking feeling is a good feeling. 

She got out of class early today so we planned to go out for lunch at that place she enjoys a lot. It is some sort of healthy food place, like vegetarian or something like that. I’m not sure, and to be quite honest I don’t care as long as I see her. She has 

small brown eyes that I adore so much. She doesn’t show much expression 

in her face but the eyes reveal most of which she thinks. The way she looks at 

me, the way she smiles and looks at me. I know. I know and we eat together.

After lunch we decide to check out a movie, it’s still very early in the day, like 

noon, and her mother won’t get back home till five at night so we go into a 

movie we have both seen. It is a very good movie I know, but to be honest, 

I am not paying attention anymore. “Hey thanks for lunch”. She says and lays her head on my shoulder. I just smile and rest my head on her hair, beautiful long brown and wavy hair. She holds my hand and remains silent. “You know something?” 

She asks breaking the silence. “What is it?” I reply. “You are the closest I’ve ever been to a guy.” Then she looks down the floor as if she wasn’t sure she should’ve said that. “I really appreciate that” I say. “thank you for trusting me so much; I would never let you down.” And as my hand runs smoothly through her golden hair she whispers she loves me. And I whisper back. “I love you too.”

CHAPTER II: HUNTING HEARTS

The lake is so peaceful, the sun so warm and the breeze so fresh. 

But her face reveals much more than that. She stares at the broken light reflected on the water like drowning in her own thoughts.

Guy-so is this about 1 or 2?

Girl- haha shut up!

Guy-haha that’s right…

Girl- haha oh my god, does he hate me?

Guy- which one?

Girl-OH MY GOD! Seriously, your mean! I’m not like that, haha. And I mean 2, does he hate me?

Guy- I never meant that.. I was seriously asking whom. But either way, I haven’t talked to him. 

He never told me anything about you. But since the beginning I knew it all and you know it.

Did you tell him straight out you’re talking again with 1?

Girl- yeah, I told him straight out, I think he hates me, damn I feel like shit. 

But I’m mad at 1 right now, like really mad! 

I don’t think I’ve ever been this mad at him before.

Guy- I told you to watch out, now things are gonna be weird and nothing happened. 

Girl- nothing at all happened! The very day he told me he liked me I straight up told him I didn’t know what to say and that me and 1 weren’t over so we had a good chance of going back together and now that he is back I told him straight out that we are trying things again. Damn I feel like shit thought, straight up. 

Guy- but why are you mad at 1?

Girl- I don’t want to talk about 1.

Girl Flashback* 

“As I stare down from my window I see him walking closer to my house. 

If only I knew what he really was thinking, and why his moods changed from one

 day to the other. If only he would be straight out and tell me how he really feels 

and he would stop playing games with my head. I think everything is over for good now.I really feel its over. I begun to develop feelings for this new guy I met. 

So he finally arrives the point where my eyes meet his and the long palm tree only casts a shadow of bitterness drawing a line which will forever separate us. 

He goes on his knees and begs for my love. Begs. No one ever has done this for me before, but this time I will not be weak and fall for it. 

This time is different; he has had a long time to put things together and nothing ever changed. So I close the window in front of me and shut the lights pretending that darkness will erase this moment from my memories. 

I wish he hadn’t done this. I feel terrible but I don’t cry. I never do.”

Flashback Guy*

“It’s a hard day today. Her aunt passed away in San Francisco so her mother has to leave town. I can feel the hurt in her voice but she pretends to be strong, she always does. She’s lost so much in life, and she is scared of trusting people. She hardly ever opens up to me. When she does it’s the most delicate and beautiful moment one could share. “Hey, my mom has to leave for the weekend, and I’m kinda scared to stay alone.” She says over the phone. “You know I’ll be here for you if you need anything. I’ll stay up all nighwith you if you want.” I say. “Thanks, maybe you could come and check up on me sometime too.”  She whispers. 

I assure her I’d love to do that, and that I will, but then her voice changes to something darker. “But if you were with your girls today don’t even bother coming.”

Shock. “My girls?” I answer. She calls “my girls” any girl friend I have. 

Most of them I’ve known for more years than I’ve known her and I share very close friendships with all of them. It really bothers me and upsets me when she gets this attitude but I can’t talk myself around it. So I lie.

“I didn’t see any of them today.” And there was a soft breathing on her side of the line, and then, nothing. “Fine.” So that night I go over her place.  I park in front of her house and the front neighbors are having a barbeque, they seem like nice people but she doesn’t like them looking at me going over, she thinks it looks bad from her to have people over, specially guys.

She opens the gate and hugs me. “Come in.” She says quickly. She tends to speak either really fast or really slow, depending on what she’s trying to say. 

I sit on the couch and a tiny-fat Chihuahua jumps on me. “You want anything to drink?” She offers, but I say I’m fine. Then she sits on her computer and tells me she’s going to finish some homework she has overdue. After a few minutes of racing through hundreds of channels she jumps on the couch next to me.

 Then she looks at me and says it’s rude of her to be working while I’m over. I smile.  “I don’t mind. It’s nice to be here with you, if I knew anything about World History I would help you I swear.” She laughs and lays her head on my shoulder as usual. 

“Lets watch my favorite channel yeah?” She says. “Encore Love.” She says with a combination of a giggle and a mysterious voice.  

So we watch a movie about a magician who falls in love with a king’s fiancée.  

Moments like this are moments that are hardly forgotten.”

CHAPTER III: WHERE YOU'RE MINE

The wind gently plays with her hair as the sun goes down. 

It is the most silent day we ever lived. The sun softly touches the line on the horizon.

Guy- so you want to come over my place before the show? I need to get some stuff done and we could have some lunch or something.

Girl- ah, you could make some good food for me huh? That’d be nice.

Guy- haha, yea I could. So you want to come?

Girl- mmm I’d like to, but I don’t think I can.

Guy- ugh, why’s that?

Girl- you know, I feel weird every time I go over. 

Guy- cus of him?

Girl- yes, you know that.

Guy- but things have changed no? He moved on, he has a girl and they are very serious about their relationship. I overheard him talking about getting married soon. 

Girl- really?

Guy- well not soon soon like this year soon, but soon yeah.

Girl- well that’s good for him.

Guy- yeah it is. But then why do you still feel weird?

Girl- ugh, its not that we have anything for each other but I can see it in his face every time he sees me. He makes it weird for me. I hate his existence. Haha, no I’m just kidding but really.

Guy- oh come on, he’s not gonna say anything. He’s probably not even gonna be there, he’s never there.  And I’ll be there with you, together no one can say anything to us about anything.

Girl- I know, I love us together.

Guy- really? Me too.

Girl- yeah, really. You’re the best.

Guy- look, you see this?

Girl- it’s a key

Guy- yeah, I want you to have it.

Girl- where is it from?

Guy- my old house, it doesn’t open anything anymore.

Girl- then why do you want me to have it?

Guy- its just our symbol, you can think of it as the key to our trust and love.

Girl- like a key to your heart?

Guy- yeah, just like that.

Girl- aw I adore you. You can have the key of my heart as well.

Guy- well, once you find it right?

Girl- oh yeah, I forgot I had lost it. But when I get one back you can have it. I trust you like I never knew I could.

Guy-wow

Girl- what?

Guy- you left me speechless, I don’t know what to say. Haha

Girl- once out of many times you’ve left me lost for words.

Guy- I love you

Girl- as do I.

Guy- be my girl yah?

Girl- haha, you know I am.

Guy- no, but really. Be my girl.

Girl- ahh, you know I can’t do that. I can’t do that not just for you, but for anyone right now. I don’t know what I want.

Guy- again?

Girl- again what?

Guy- nevermind. Come on. Let’s walk around the lake.

Flashback guy*

“ It’s been a couple weeks since she changed. She doesn’t run up to me anymore. 

She doesn’t show the cute and loving side of her. She doesn’t seem to care the same way anymore. She still tells me she loves me and she misses me but her heart feels so far away. I walk by her and she looks away and finds the most miniscule excuse to run away. I remember that time we walked alone along the bridge above the road.

Across the city lightening shows, below the skies of yes and hopes.

Will you be mine? I’ve always been yours, she said.

Where can we go so you’re mine again?

Where is that place where you’re mine?

The face of the moon, the stars or the sun? Or travel in time at speed of light?

There’s no one else to look. Tonight it’s just me and you.

There’s no one else to care for. Tonight I only worry about you.

There’s no one else around. Tonight its just us.

Will you be mine sometime?

I’ve always been yours, she said, you just never noticed.

Where can we go so you’re mine again?

To the top of the world or the bottom of the sea?

To the face of the moon or the stars or the sun?

So I finally get a chance to talk to her. I ask her what’s going on. 

Why does she keep evading me?

At first she said everything was fine and that she has had many things on her mind lately but I know that is not true. I won’t accept any more deceit from her now.

So she finally breaks down and tells me what she feels. She says. 

-I’m hovering down the road with rain falling hard, the night is cold.

Reflections of a broken face with tears and a great disgrace.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what is good

I don’t know what I’ve done.

I just gotta tell someone and now it is the perfect time.

My heart has come undone.

I know that I make no sense just going around the same story.

I know that I’ve let you down and I’ve let myself down the same.

I don’t know what to say because I feel as lost as yesterday.

There’s no point to stay or run, either way I’m under the gun.

I just gotta tell you and now it is the perfect time.

My heart has come undone.

I can tell you, but I can’t tell them that I can’t live without this shame.

That loneliness has called my name. I used to be strong but I’ve been tamed.

I don’t know love. I don’t’ know pain.

I don’t know loss. I don’t know gain. I don’t know nothing else but this.

I don’t know what I want anymore. I’m sorry I leave you now. I’m sorry I hurt you. –

That was the last time I ever heard her voice. I see her walking around from time to time but from that day till today, everything we had was lost. 

I lost her and I will never get to know why. 

Maybe time just drew us apart. Maybe she grew up and changed. Maybe I changed. 

I fell asleep on you again. Last night was too much, I fell asleep on you again.

Sorry I got back to you so late, this thing I’m doing I can’t ignore.

It’s melancholic anyways because I miss you but maybe, I’ll see you someday.

I understand miss that you’re upset miss, I’ve let my feelings race too much.

But miss you gotta understand I’ll bury all in sand so when you need some love

just dig into my soul and you’ll see that what I said was real.

Miss don’t fall asleep on me, I’m hurting can’t you see?

Miss I’ll let you go. Miss goodnight. I’ll let you go.”

CHAPTER IV: ORIGINAL DOLL

As we walk around the lake she suddenly stops. 

I turn around and gaze into her beautiful black eyes. 

The contrast of her snow-white skin against her charcoal black hair is amazing. Beauty you have to search for in the heights of heaven. Natural beauty.  

Girl- I’m so scared for our friendship, I really am scared.

Guy- but why? What do you mean you’re scared?

Girl- well, I don’t know. I just love everything about you, I love us together, 

and it’s confusing. But I don’t want things to change.

Guy- you know I love you too. But why would this affect our friendship?

Girl- you know! Things can get weird. 

Guy- I love you, and you make me so happy. 

And you fill everything in me. Everything.

Girl- what do you mean?

Guy- you’re someone I love and trust completely. Who makes every single day worth. Someone beautiful inside and out and pursuing a good life. Someone as imperfect and twisted as me but also perfect for me and to me. Someone to share life with, and all that stuff you want in someone.

Girl- I had no idea. I still don’t want anything to change. I can’t do this. I don’t know what else to say.

Guy- I’m sorry, so where does this leave us?

Girl- I don’t know. In the same place, only now your feelings for me are more clear.

It’s best if I go now.  (Stands up and leaves)

Flashback Guy*

“This is the night where I don’t sleep. I used to miss her so much but tonight my feelings for this other girl are so strong that my past and heartbreaks mean nothing anymore. I sit straight on my chair and dip my fingers into the boney white keys of at the piano I adore. 

I can feel the inside of the keys, soft, bending to my will. I make music. 

That’s what I do best, and I love her, almost as much as I love to make music. 

Today I know I love her but it is pretty much clear that our past has marked 

us in the head with permanent inks. A blood pact we did not sign. A curse of 

heartbreaks. Love and storms all together inside my veins. 

But I hold this keys as if I was holding her. And I call out to her.

I think of ways to have you darling.

I think of ways to charm you sunshine.

I think of ways to wear my arms around you.

I’m leaving town to find you. 

I’ve left my past behind you.

Can’t wait to see us holding hands.

Original doll so charming, stop and let me know if you’re willing to

come and spend some time together. Don’t be afraid anymore.

I have no words to describe you lover.

I’ve gone beyond to love you always.

Why does it have to be this way?

The love for your man is broken, I know for the way we’ve spoken.

Why don’t you leave behind what you’re holding on to? 

And you know I mean that.

Original doll so charming, stop and let me know if you’re willing to

come and spend some time together.

Don’t be afraid anymore.

This time I get so anxious, oh! Aren’t you girl so precious.

I can’t be around you without going down.

The way you stand believe me. The way you smile and see me.

The way you, the way you are”.

CHAPTER V: TEA DROPS

For the rest of the day I can’t get her off my mind. I walk around my room and forget all the songs I am supposed to play that night at the show. 

I need to get things straightened up. So I grab my red and black cell phone and call her. 

Guy-hey, are you busy? I could call some other time,

Girl- no, its fine. How are you?

Guy- im fine, look. About today…

Girl- don’t worry, its fine.

Guy- you see. Things don’t have to change. Its just that along this road we’ve gotten so much closer than I imagined and I couldn’t help these feelings for you to come. 

Girl- I understand.

Guy- I don’t want to loose you. 

Girl- you won’t loose me. I love you. I just don’t know what to think or do. 

I’m so frustrated. I feel im inside a box and I don’t know how to get out.

Guy- is this cus of your ex?

Girl- mmm yes. I miss him so much.

Guy- I wish you could just get over that and move on with your life, you know that attachment you have for him is not good for you. Its not good for anyone.

Girl- but you don’t know anything about us. You need to stop being so insensitive about my feelings and this situation, which you know very little about. My relationship with my ex was very strong and I know I allowed some feelings and attachments to grow but when I did he was the sweetest guy ever, I seriously loved him so much and it wasn’t until the end that I realized his true colors, and even so I still feel this attachments killing me and holding me so much to him, you can’t even begin to understand.

Guy- I’m sorry I sound insensitive right now, and your right, maybe I don’t know much about your relationship with him. But I do know that it is over and most likely it is not gonna come back.

Girl- you don’t know that.

Guy- so you want it to come back?

Girl- ugh, I don’t know.

Guy- well then I don’t know what to say either.

Girl- then just don’t say anything. I’m over talking about this seriously. 

Guy- honestly, you know what I think? Let me rephrase that, you know what I know?

I know that as soon as you get over this guy you will just date another guy equally stupid.

Girl- really? That’s what you think? That im the smart girl that falls for idiots one after another, only because I made a mistake, which to begin with I didn’t think was a mistake. Well you know me so well don’t you? I know you never approve of my guys but that doesn’t give you the right to insult me. I never do that to you.

Guy- you know what, im gonna take that rebuke and not say anything back. I didn’t mean to insult you. Ill just talk to you later.

Girl-good.

Girl flashback*

“Its late, very late. It’s past midnight and this party seems to have no end to it. 

The room spins around me and I see lights hitting my face mercilessly. 

After a couple drinks and dances I finally make my way to the back of the place only to find him making out with my best friend. 

We didn’t even have a week since we broke up. I still love him. 

How could he do this to me?

I always thought I wasn’t respecting him in our relationship. 

Everything he said had so much sense I was willing to change to make him happy. 

I remember those times we spent together. Times I don’t believe I can live with someone else, at least not anytime soon. So I go off on him. 

I cuss him out and hit him with all the strength I posses, which at the time is barely any. I cry. This time I cry. And she cries. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t show any emotion. He walks away and disappears. 

That was the last time I ever heard his voice. I see him walking around from time 

to time but from that day till today, everything we had was lost. 

I lost him and I will never get to know why. Maybe time just drew us apart. 

Maybe he grew up and changed. Maybe I changed.

I have seen the sun so long my eyes begin to burn.

No one said that it was wrong to hide away.

Erase the music from our voice so we can slowly understand.

No one said that it was wrong for you to stay, but still you still left.

I need someone to sing to me because I can’t sleep.

I needed you to visit me when they were gone.

I need some dreamy eyes to see.

I need some chocolate or some tea.

I needed to belong someplace where you belong to me.

Today I wrote a thousand songs. The paper slow begins to burn.

No one thought that love was on decay. Erase the glimpses of cliché.

I wont speak beauties to the deaf or to who ignores what I say. 

My inspiration left. I need someone to sing to me because I can’t sleep.

I needed you to visit me when they were gone.

I need some dreamy eyes to see.

I need some chocolate or some tea.

I needed to belong someplace where you belong to me.

I check my messages. I find some images of you so beautiful.

I know it’s pointless. I know it’s worthless. I know it makes no sense.

You won’t be calling back so soon and even if you would I wouldn’t even answer.”

CHAPTER VI: SEVEN COLOR COAT

Seven o’clock arrive. The stage is ready and the lights are bright. 

I walk into my future and realize there is not much in my future I want to walk into. Do I really need this? 

Do I really want this? 

I have no idea what is it that I want or need anymore. 

Until this very moment I felt contempt, I felt complete. 

I didn’t have everything in the world but I had everything in her. 

She filled the holes in my soul with emotions I did not know how to replace and now I am broken. 

I sit on the wooden stool we built months ago together for this night. 

And I see her, she is there standing by the door. Not yet in but here after all. 

The time comes and I begin the song. 

I whisper to the microphone something no one could understand.

“The color of the night reflects the black in your eyes

The color of the trees reflect the life that we live

The color of the sun reflects the brilliance of you

The color of the fire reflects my love for you

Inside there’s a calling to be lived

there is love to give

inside there’s everything to share

there’s a song to sing

The color of dreams comes true because at night we live

the color of life is dull because we sleep

the color of your smile is sweet because its you and me

the color of your voice is tender like the wind

Inside there’s a calling to be lived

there’s love to give

inside there’s everything to share

there’s a song to sing

Inside there’s a calling to be lived

there’s love to give

inside there’s everything to share

there’s a song to sing”.

I’ve seen tonight all that I needed and I have found what I’ve been looking for.

I’ve seen this world taking down what I have loved. And all I’ve loved is you.

She might not understand this love. I might not understand it either. 

But love is love in the end. 

Whatever the excuses we come up with, whatever the circumstances. 

The love we share is no ordinary love. 

There is no one else that matters when I’m with her. 

There’s no one’s voice I hear when her lips move.

There are no other eyes I see when she’s close.

In this love there’s just you. In this love there’s just me. 

In this love no one else can be. 

It’s just us. Our eyes meet one more time. She knows what I meant.

She knows I wrote this for her. Not just the song, but everything. 

She gently smiles, looks down, bites her lip, pulls her black hair back,walks away. She knows I love her.